Things that I’m worried about right now-a list

Thoughts randomly spewing from my mind right now.

Moving.  We’re moving into a new apt in July.  I’m excited, anxious, and nervous about his prospect.  We’ll be living above a nice couple who have been living in the Point since they were 7 years old.  Amazing.  I’m worried that I will interrupt their life somehow, that I won’t be able to play the guitar if I want to because they will be right below me, that I’ll come home drunk one night and embarras myself with some slurred conversation.

Death.  Well that’s a little too obvious.  I don’t think I’m worried about my own death so much as I’m worried about others dying.  What would I do, how would I cope, where would I end up in the world.  I think I would most likely become a monk or something if my wife died.  Unplug from the world indefinitely… something like that.  

Getting fat and old.  One of these things is out of my control, but the other is certainly not.  My entire family has been plagued with anxiety over weight, even though, all around, we’re a pretty healthy group.  It all goes back to my great grandmother, who was some 300 odd pounds (a really big weight for her time) and had to undergo shock therapy for the treatment of depression.  Her whole ordeal affected my grandmother so much that she in turn passed some shit on to my mom, my siblings, and myself.

My Health. I’ve been sick for about a month now.  I’m tired of it and even more tired of going to the doctor.  I know it doesn’t make sense to stay away from the doctor, but I sure as hell don’t feel like going.

At any rate, I’m anxious right now.  I’m tired and depressed.  I want to create something tangible in life, not just some bits and bytes on a computer somewhere that ends up in the waste bin three years from now, but that’s easier said than done.  Maybe in the new apt I will have some time to spend doing those things.  

At the end of the day, I’m happy with my life overall. Things get better.  Days go by.